


Third Wheel

by Lasafara



Series: Holiday Hooligan [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bi!Dean, M/M, M/M/M - Polyamory, Multi, Polyamory Negotiations, Using new coping mechanisms, ace!cas, negotiating relationships, poor coping mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 17:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11190294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lasafara/pseuds/Lasafara
Summary: Cas wants to be everything for Dean, but it's becoming clear that Dean needs things Cas can't provide. How are they going to work this out?





	Third Wheel

“So wait, you want to what?” Dean asked, incredulous. 

Dean and Cas had been dating for nearly a year, when they found a local queer group that met up once or twice a month. Their relationship was good, was strong and happy, but Dean struggled with the lack of sex. They had tried, pushing boundaries for both of them to find something that could work, and they’d learned a lot about each other in the process. 

But the fact of the matter was, Cas just really really did not like sex. And sure, Dean had known that going in. Castiel had told him from the beginning that he was ace, and the first real serious relationship discussion they’d had had been about sex, what Dean needed and what Cas could provide. Nothing had been a surprise. But Dean was clearly struggling. Cas had noticed that while Castiel was perfectly secure in the relationship, Dean's security waxed and waned, usually dependent upon whether or not Cas had pushed his own boundaries to be intimate with Dean. Cas wasn't even sure Dean realized it.

Unfortunately, Dean was having problems in the relationship, and if they wanted it to last, something was going to have to change.

“I've been talking to Meg about how she and her partners deal with having an asexual partner, and she pointed out that with three people in their relationship, she and Ruby have the sexual security they need, while Zaz does not have to worry about pushing his boundaries to maintain the secure feelings of the other two,” Cas said, speaking so clinically Dean was almost unsure if he was actually suggesting a threesome.

“Wait, wait. Don’t tell me you’re taking advice from those weirdos!” Dean said, shaking his head. 

Cas cocked his head, squinting hard at Dean. “Meg is my friend, Dean. I would think you, of all people, would understand the need to have friends with similar interests and experiences.”

“I mean, yeah, sure, but what kind of things could you have in common with those screwballs? They’re just all a little, you know…” Dean trailed off as Cas’s glare gained in intensity.

“A little what, Dean?” Cas asked, solid ice in his voice.

Dean sighed, and circled his finger next to his head. “You know…”

“Ah. And I suppose you think I’m a little “you know” too, for enjoying Meg’s company and seeking her advice to save our relationship?” Cas asked fiercely.

“Save our relationship?!” Dean exclaimed, bewildered. “Since when does our relationship need saving??”

“You don’t even see it, do you? You don’t even notice! You get angry, irritable, sullen, every time we’ve gone too long without sex. Every time! You start snapping at me, biting back at everything. Nothing is good enough for you!” Cas’s voice had been rising in intensity and volume as he spoke, but now it grew soft again as he looked down. “And then as soon as I give in, your moodiness is gone, like it never happened.”

Dean stared at Cas, flabbergasted. “I don’t… I don’t do that… Do I?”

Cas just sighed, and looked away. Dean was horrified. He stared at Cas for a long, long moment, until Cas finally looked up and met his eyes. The truth was written in his gaze, and Dean couldn’t bear the proof of his own guilt. “I have to go.”

“Dean?” 

Dean took a step back, and then another, not breaking eye contact. Cas took a step forward, reaching a hand out to stop Dean. Dean glanced at that hand, and then back to Cas’s face for a brief instant, before he turned and ran out the door of their shared apartment. Cas stood there stunned, still holding a hand out to a person who was no longer there. 

What should he do now?

*****

Dean was holed up in Benny’s living room. Benny had given him a key to the apartment long ago, after he’d gotten his three-month chip. That was when Benny said that he could trust Dean alone in his apartment, and Dean has worked hard to keep that trust. Today was the first day he’d honestly thought about picking up a case of beer. He’d resisted, but only just. Getting drunk sounded exceptional right now. Like, really really great. Currently, he was seated on Benny’s couch, wrapped in a blanket and holding his cell phone. Carefully typed into the text box in the texting app were the words “Gonna kill Warren.” Taking a deep breath, Dean hit send, letting the message go to Benny. Within seconds, he got a response. 

**Benny:** _Where are you right now?_

**Dean:** _Your place._

**Benny:** _On my way. Stay there._

Dean dropped the phone into his lap and wrapped the blanket around himself tighter. God, he just wanted a damn drink.

It wasn’t more than 15 minutes later before Dean heard the key in the front door, and then Benny was kneeling in front of him, gently resting a hand on Dean’s face, Dean flinched, and Benny started to pull away, but then changed his mind and tenderly cupped Dean’s face in his hands, forcing Dean to meet his gaze.

“Haven’t seen the Buffy call in damn near a year, brother. What happened?” Benny asked, speaking softly, as though gentling a wild animal.

“I’m no good for Cas.” Dean didn’t elaborate. Now that he was here, he wasn’t sure why he’d come. He knew Benny would make him talk. A bartender might do that as well, but not until he’d plied Dean with a couple of shots and maybe a beer. “I want a whiskey.”

Benny’s gaze was soft, and he sighed, “I know you do, _cher_. I know. But we been down that road, and it ain't a good one. So talk to me. Cuz I know you and Cas. You're the best thing that ever happened to Cas.”

“I'm _not_ , though. I'm not. What kind of man pressures the man he loves into sex?” Dean pulled his face from Benny’s hands and looked up, trying to blink away the tears. “I went into this relationship knowing he was ace, knowing what that meant.”

Benny didn't try to touch Dean again, but he didn’t move away. “What makes you think you’ve been pressuring him?”

“He told me. We’ve been going to this Queer Pride meetup, and he was talking to one of them about me, apparently. _Meg_. And she… I don’t know what she thinks we should do, exactly, but when I asked _why_ he’d been talking to her about us, it all came out.” Dean shifted, looking down at his hands. “He thinks our relationship is on the rocks. I didn’t even realize it. God, fuck. I need a fucking drink, Benny. Just for this conversation? Please?”

Shaking his head, Benny shifted onto the couch, and then pulled Dean into his arms, wrapping the blanket around both of them. Carefully, he pulled them both down so that they were lying lengthwise on the couch, with Dean against the back and bracketed with Benny’s body. It was a tight squeeze with two grown men, but Benny had bought a couch with the deepest seat he could find, so it wasn’t impossible. 

“ _Cher_ , a drink would not make this situation better,” Benny said, speaking into the top of Dean’s head. Dean’s face was tucked in against Benny’s chest, but Benny had keen ears, and neither was worried Dean wouldn’t be heard.

“It’d sure make this conversation easier,” Dean said grudgingly.

“An’ you’d hate yourself in the morning. So no. Now, why d’ya suppose your boy thinks something’s wrong between you two if you didn’t know about it at all?” Benny asked, stroking Dean’s hair softly. His other arm was underneath Dean’s waist and wrapped around his back, trapped, but able to draw tiny figures with his fingertips. Dean was slowly relaxing to the touch.

“He ah… Fuck, Benny, this isn't easy,” Dean said, pulling his arms in against Benny’s chest so that no part of him was exposed. They'd discovered early on that Dean had an easier time being emotionally vulnerable if he didn't also feel physically vulnerable. What that looked like had changed over the years as the trust between them had grown, and often depended on what was upsetting Dean in the first place. But they'd been in this position before, and Dean trusted Benny to look out for Dean's best interests. 

“Never is, _cher_ , but we can't fix it if you won't tell me what it is,” Benny said logically. 

Dean sighed, and finally started talking. “He says I get moody if I've gone too long without… you know. If I haven't gotten laid. And he feels like he has to fix that by pushing past his own boundaries.”

“So he's telling you that his comfort levels are bein’ pressured. That's a good talk to have, brother.” Benny leaned back enough to tip Dean's head up and look him in the eye. “Have you had that conversation with him before? About his boundaries and your needs?”

“Course. One of the first real talks we had when we started getting serious. ‘Bout the time we moved in together,” Dean said.

“If it's not too private, what'd y’all decide about that?” Benny asked.

“Well, that for the most part, I'd take care of myself, unless Cas initiated something. Nothing, uh… penetrative, and maybe sometimes he'd like to, ah… watch?” Dean stuttered through his answer, dropping his head back down so he could hide against Benny’s chest while he talked.

“S’at how it's worked since? Never had any other conversations about if it was working?” Benny asked. 

“Well… Yeah. I mean no. No conversations.”

Benny nodded. “ _Cher_ , it sounds like you and Cas need to have another discussion about it. If Cas was talking about wanting to fix things, you know that means he doesn’t want to leave you. But maybe things aren’t working the way he thought they would.”

“He said I’m moody and irritable,” Dean said, pouting.

“...He does have a point. I’m not sleeping with you, but I’ve always been able to tell when you’ve been laid, even before you got together with your boy,” Benny said slowly. 

“But that’s the problem!” Dean shoved away, nearly pushing Benny off the couch, and almost shouting. “I don’t want to make him think he has to have sex with me! I don’t want him to initiate sex because he thinks I need it! I want… I want to be a good boyfriend. I don’t want to lose him because I’m making him think he has to do things he’s not comfortable with…” 

Benny pulled him close again and sighed. “ _Cher_ , you know Cas is only talking to you to fix this. It seems like he’s got a bit of an idea on how to do it. ...Would it help if I was there with you, while you talked? Normally I’d say this was a private matter, but knowing you, things might never get talked about.”

“Hey…” Dean grumbled.

“Am I lyin’, brother?”

“...No,” Dean responded begrudgingly. 

“So, do you want me to come with ya when you and Cas try your talk again?”

“...Yeah.”

Benny nodded. “You ready to get up, brother?”

There was a pause, and then Dean burrowed further underneath Benny. “Just a little bit longer?”

“Anytime, _cher_ ,” Benny said, pulling Dean close and the blanket up and over Dean’s head. If ‘a little bit longer’ turned into quite a long time, neither of them mentioned it.

*****

Castiel looked up when the front door opened. He’d been sitting at the table for far too long, debating whether or not he should make dinner. Would Dean be home to eat it? Was he even hungry? Would Dean be willing to talk to him, or would he head straight up to their room? ...Where was Cas going to sleep, if Dean took the bedroom? 

He’d gotten himself good and riled by the time Dean got his shoes and coat off and came into the dining room. Cas looked up at Dean with a watery, tense smile, and Dean nodded back to him. And then Cas startled slightly, as Dean walked further into the room only to be followed by Benny. Benny gave a sheepish wave, and carefully guided Dean over next to Cas, letting him sit before he sat on the other side of Dean.

“Hope you don’t mind me bargin’ in like this, Cas. It seems like you and Dean need to talk, and I won’t stop that. I’m just here to make sure he hangs around long enough for it to happen,” Benny explained. 

Cas paused for a moment, squinting between the two of them. There was a carefully maintained distance between them, despite the fact that Dean was leaning towards Benny. Cas knew how the two men were normally, and while the word “affectionate” was not quite the word he’d use, it wasn’t entirely incorrect either. This was a different sort of feeling he got from between them, as though they were putting on a show. He just wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit or theirs. It didn’t likely matter, though, since having Benny here simplified things.

“No, Benny. I’m pleased that Dean brought you here. Some things I’d like to talk about involve you as well,” Cas said, attempting a small smile Benny’s way. Benny tensed immediately, but nodded, shooting a look Dean’s way that Cas couldn’t read. Dean hadn’t stopped staring at his own hands on the table since he’d sat down, so he hadn’t seen it. 

“Well, best get to it, then. Dean’s said you're having a bit of bedroom trouble?” Benny said, attempting to prod the other two men into talking to each other.

Cas, ever the pragmatist, nodded and turned to Dean, who appeared to be attempting to impersonate a turtle. “Yes. As I was saying earlier, I was discussing with Meg how her relationship works. She's the only person in our local meetings who has been in a long-term relationship with an asexual partner, and I'd hoped she would have some insight on the matter.”

Dean nodded, still looking down until Benny nudged him with an elbow. Dean still didn't say anything, but he did look up. He met Cas's eyes, and for a moment they just stared at each other. Benny couldn't tell if they were having a conversation silently or if they'd just gotten caught in each other’s gaze, but then, no one besides those two could ever really tell. After a moment though, Dean nodded, and gestured for Cas to continue. 

“Meg was very helpful. She told me that her relationship with Zaz had come before her relationship with Ruby, and that it had been very difficult for her,” Cas said.

Dean snorted. “I'll say. That guy's a creep and a half.”

Cas gave Dean a half-hearted glare, but there was no real sting behind it. Cas was very close to Meg, but honestly he couldn't stand Zaz, and only vaguely tolerated Ruby for Meg’s sake. He understood why Dean didn't like the trio, but Cas had had the advantage of getting to know Meg first, through work. She'd been the one to tell them about the meetings. “Anyway, the problem wasn't that Meg and Zaz didn't truly love or care for each other, but that Zaz wasn't able to give Meg what she needed sexually.”

“Right, right,” Dean interrupted. “Look, Cas, I know you and Meg are best buddies who share all sorts of personal details to each other--Trust me, she's told me more than once--but can we cut to the chase? I don't want to hear about your friends’ sex lives.”

Benny rolled his eyes, and Cas sighed, but he nodded. “Very well. The point is, when Meg and Zaz realized that things weren't working, they discussed ways to both relieve the pressure on Zaz, while still giving Meg what she needed to feel secure in the relationship. Meg had had polyamorous tendencies before, so it seemed only natural to invite a third person into their relationship.”

Both Benny’s and Dean’s jaws dropped, and they looked at each other before they turned back to Cas. Benny recovered first, but simply shut his mouth and tried to look neutral. He was beginning to wonder if it was actually a good idea to have come. But more importantly, he had a funny idea that if he reacted wrong now, it could damage more than one relationship. 

Dean pulled himself together and then stood, nearly knocking over the chair he'd been sitting on. He began to pace the room, while Cas looked on placidly. After a moment, Dean sat back down. “Okay. Okay, so basically what you're suggesting is that I get a friend with benefits on the side?”

Cas shook his head, beginning to fidget with his fingers a bit. “If that's what you'd prefer, then yes. We could do it that way…”

“But that's not what you actually wanted, was it?” Dean asked. He sounded almost angry, but his expression was calm.

“No. No, I was thinking we'd invite…” Cas paused, his eyes flicking towards Benny so quickly Benny thought he might have imagined it. “I thought we'd invite someone to be an equal partner. Certainly someone to fulfill your carnal desires, but also…”

“Also what?” Dean asked, reaching over to pull Cas's hand into both of his.

“Someone that could be an emotional support for both of us. Who could act as a bridge when we…” Cas gestured with his free hand, and Dean looked down. 

“You mean when I explode and run away?”

“That is not what I said, nor what I meant, Dean. But we-- _neither of us_ \--is good at talking when we're upset,” Cas said, staring at their joined hands.

“We've always made it work before, babe,” Dean said, leaning in to attempt to catch Cas's eye.

“Dean…” Cas trailed off, then his gaze firmed and he was almost glaring. Benny, forgotten behind Dean, was a little intimidated by the look on his face, but Dean only smiled, relaxing slightly for the first time since he'd walked into the house. “You deserve a relationship where your needs are fulfilled, Dean. And I can't manage that. But I won't lose you.”

“I'm not going anywhere, babe,” Dean said. “But I can't live with myself if I'm pressuring you into things you don't want.”

Cas smiled. “That's where Benny comes in.”

Dean reared back in shock, and Benny looked like a deer in headlights. Cas just smiled beatifically. 

“Now wait just a moment, brother. Dean and I are just friends,” Benny said once he was able to get his voice back. Dean nodded frantically. 

“I swear, babe, I've never done anything with Benny!”

Shaking his head, Cas gave Dean’s hand a squeeze. “I know. I trust you. But what I’m trying to say is… I like Benny. You like Benny. I can trust you with Benny, and Benny with you. I… If we’re seriously going to do this, it needs to be with someone we’re both… comfortable with.”

Benny finally cut in. “Brother, I’m… I’m flattered, but I wouldn’t want to do anything that got between the two of you. I’ve known since that first Christmas that you were the thing Dean had been looking for since I met him. I can’t do anything to ruin that.”

Cas nodded. “I had wanted to talk to Dean about this without you first, but circumstances dictated otherwise. But I think… In this case, something will have to change, or we can’t continue.” Cas turned back to Dean, “Dean, I want to be everything you need, but I can’t. And I can’t bear to see you in pain. As things stand, either you won’t get what you need, and you’ll become insecure, and _us_ will fall apart. Or I’ll be… Dean, my therapist has been after me for months to find a compromise. This is the only one I can think of.”

“ _Months_? You’ve been feeling this way for _months_ and you didn’t tell me? Cas--!” Dean cut off abruptly as Benny grabbed the scruff of his neck and squeezed hard. Dean tensed, and then relaxed, leaning back into Benny’s hand as it loosened and rested on Dean’s neck. Gently Benny began to draw circles on Dean’s skin.

“ _Cher_ , he’s telling you now. Neither y’all can fix the past, but he’s talkin’ now, and that’s what’s most important.”

Dean nodded. Cas, on the other hand, watched the whole scene contemplatively, and then gestured towards them. “That… That’s what I’m talking about. You are already so close, you share so much. It only makes sense to invite you in. You could be our third wheel.”

Both Dean and Benny choked, and began coughing. “W-what?”

“The third wheel! It adds extra grip, greater stability. I feel we could use more stability in our lives, Dean,” Cas said, completely serious. 

Dean got his breathing under control, and then reached out to grab Cas’s hand again. “Babe… I’m not entirely opposed to this, okay?” Benny choked a little harder in the background, but Dean pressed forward, “But I want to make sure you’re getting something out of this too. Are you… Are you sure this is something you want?”

Cas beamed. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, Dean. I’m very sure. Besides, I’m sure Benny gives very good massages.”

Benny choked so hard it sounded like he was going to die. The other two men turned to him, Dean patting him hard on the back while Cas stood to get him a glass of water. When Benny finally got himself under control, Cas sat on his other side.

“What do you think, Benny? Would you like to add your grip to our own?” Cas asked, a slight twinkle in his eye.

Benny looked between the two men staring at him for his answer, looked down at the glass of water in his hands, and then back up to Cas. “Aw hell, you know I can’t say no with the two of you looking at me like that. We can… give it a try, okay? Like, a trial run?”

“Very good,” Cas said, nodding firmly. “Then I propose we “Netflix and Chill.” That would be a very good first date.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “You know that involves sex, right babe?”

“No, it involves “chilling.” We can “chill” on the couch and watch this movie starring Ryan Reynolds. I saw a trailer for it. It’s about a man fighting cancer for the sake of his love? I believe it will be very emotional,” Cas said.

“Deadpool? Are you talking about Deadpool?” Benny asked.

Dean started laughing. “Yeah, sure babe. Let’s watch Deadpool. Good romantic movie, that one. I’ll make the popcorn, you go queue it up, okay?”

Benny watched the two stand up and stare at each other for a long moment, before exchanging a brief, chaste kiss. Then, to his surprise, both men leaned over him and dropped a kiss on either side of his mouth. Cas left to go to the living room, while Dean started pulling out the stovetop popcorn popper, oil, and unpopped popcorn. Benny sat for a moment longer, until he heard the sound of the corn popping, and finally stood up and went to wrap his arms around Dean. 

“Hey babe,” Dean said, grinning back at Benny before focusing on the popcorn. 

“”Hey _cher_. You need anything from me?”

“Just stay.”

From the living room, Cas said, “I believe I have found the correct movie. Benny, the soda is in the fridge. When you two are ready, we can “cuddle” together.”

Dean and Benny giggled and, after a few minutes longer for the popcorn to cook, they grabbed the bowl of popcorn and the soda, and they went to go meet their partner for their first date. Benny wasn’t sure if this would work, but he found himself pleased with this outcome. This might be the best thing that ever happened to him. 

It might be the best thing that happened to all of them.


End file.
